Made me chuckle!

MartytheMartian

MartytheMartian

Legendary Knight
Well flatulence damn near killed me yesterday! My mother and her husband have been visiting for the week and, yesterday, we went out for a small jaunt down Loch Lomond side with a stop at a cafe. My mother's husband's car with him driving. On the way back either he or my old Mum cracked a fart. Jeezzzzuuussss it was a killer! I literally felt like I was chewing my way through the thing trying to find clearer air. Being a polite sort of fellow myself and being a guest in the vehicle I said nothing as no-one else was reacting and it's not done to embarrass one's elderly relatives I just had to try and pretend that I wasn't dying a slow and ghastly death at the hands of the silent but deadly one. When me and the missus were alone later we both marvelled at the chemical warfare we had been victims of. If a seriously smelly fart is an indictor or health I think I better get my black tie and sombre attire ready!
 
Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
That reminds me many years ago a mate of mine gave me a lift back from leave in his mini cooper, so there was I hunched up in the passenger seat when I let go the biggest boldest brassiest fart I had ever done that smelt so bad, poor fecker coughed and spluttered and went to grab the window winder that just broke off in his hand, I laughed so aloud while he cursed me and called me all sorts, good old days
 
Sarky B’stard

Sarky B’stard

Legendary Knight
Don the Don said:
That reminds me many years ago a mate of mine gave me a lift back from leave in his mini cooper, so there was I hunched up in the passenger seat when I let go the biggest boldest brassiest fart I had ever done that smelt so bad, poor fecker coughed and spluttered and went to grab the window winder that just broke off in his hand, I laughed so aloud while he cursed me and called me all sorts, good old days
Click to expand...
A proper Mini had slidy windows and a wire loop hanging down to operate the catch. Not a winder (sic) in sight to break!
 
Big Sandy

Big Sandy

Legendary Knight
We used to run round in an old mini, drivers seat was a beer crate!

When I was a teen, dad bought an old Clubman, the one with the wooden back and double rear doors (ha! A dwarf hearse) The head gasket was suspect... Losing coolant all the way up the M6 to Ayrshire. So dad decided he'd fix it himself.

He was weeks trying to get the head off... Me (age 12) " Shouldnt you undo those 4 bolts in the middle? " Dad.. "Bugger off, I know what I'm doing."

So he was wedging the head up to get it off... Until one day BANG!! One of those bolts sheared off and went through the garage roof. The other ones just undid, and lo, the head literally jumped off.

Undaunted, new gasket fitted. Sadly both head and block are a bit scored... So a liberal application of araldite (I shit you not) and away we go.

Driving into town, there's a bang. The rear subframe has gone, and is pushing its way through the floor pan under the rear seat.

So dad traded it against a S2 ex army ffr Landy.

A week or 2 later I'm on my way to school in the bus, and I saw said mini just as the engine exploded!

The garage owner spoke to dad... "Some silly bugger stuck the head on with araldite".... Dad sez "Really? Christ, got rid of it just at the right time, didn't I?" 🤣
 
chas

chas

Legendary Knight
Big Sandy said:
We used to run round in an old mini, drivers seat was a beer crate!

When I was a teen, dad bought an old Clubman, the one with the wooden back and double rear doors (ha! A dwarf hearse) The head gasket was suspect... Losing coolant all the way up the M6 to Ayrshire. So dad decided he'd fix it himself.

He was weeks trying to get the head off... Me (age 12) " Shouldnt you undo those 4 bolts in the middle? " Dad.. "Bugger off, I know what I'm doing."

So he was wedging the head up to get it off... Until one day BANG!! One of those bolts sheared off and went through the garage roof. The other ones just undid, and lo, the head literally jumped off.

Undaunted, new gasket fitted. Sadly both head and block are a bit scored... So a liberal application of araldite (I shit you not) and away we go.

Driving into town, there's a bang. The rear subframe has gone, and is pushing its way through the floor pan under the rear seat.

So dad traded it against a S2 ex army ffr Landy.

A week or 2 later I'm on my way to school in the bus, and I saw said mini just as the engine exploded!

The garage owner spoke to dad... "Some silly bugger stuck the head on with araldite".... Dad sez "Really? Christ, got rid of it just at the right time, didn't I?" 🤣
Click to expand...
Brings back memories :D

My old man was in the habit of buying cars at auction and trying to turn a dollar on them.

I learned a lot, on both sides of the coin.

If anybody needs to know how to repair the chassis of a Wolsely 16/60 with isopon I can give tips ;)
 
Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
chas said:
was that the Wolslely version of the 'Land Crab' Austin 1800?
Click to expand...
It was one of these
6108942499_3a905551b9.jpg
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top