What’s made you happy for a change

MartytheMartian

MartytheMartian

Legendary Knight
Well I'm happy today, for a change, as, after more than a year without two wheels on the road to roll, I got my Bonnie, Britt, MOT'ed today. While at the test centre in Renton I got talking to another biker who was in for an MOT on his 99 CBR600 and I am thinking he might be related to @Big Sandy I believe, from what he was saying, the chap lives in a camper van, states that he has enough Iodine to cope with radiation in the event of WWIII breaking out not to mention solar panels for power and chlorine for sterilising drinking water but, and this is the clincher that made me think of Sandy - His index finger on his right hand bent over across his other fingers and this is, he said, because he whacked it with an angle grinder but, rather than go to hospital (as he was of the opinion that the RAH in Paisley, is, 'an utter fuckin' stinking shithole of a place where you are likely to catch something and die rather than be healed') he super glued up the skin over the wound which was down the finger at an angle across the knuckle, covered it in germolene then strapped it to the next finger and wrapped it all up in cling film. Well, so his tale went, a couple of days later he removed the covering and discovered that the finger was healing but now frozen sticking straight out as the cut bone of the knuckle had started to heal in a way that meant it would no longer bend. Did he then seek medical help? No! He said that he just snapped the knuckle so that he was left with a permanently curved, twisted digit like a fucked up action man trigger finger. He said it now made his fingers a bit awkward for using an automatic (self proclaimed ex-squaddie) but he had trained himself to use his hunting bow with his other hand. I always seem to meet the nutters. :D
 
Sarky B’stard

Sarky B’stard

Legendary Knight
MartytheMartian said:
Well I'm happy today, for a change, as, after more than a year without two wheels on the road to roll, I got my Bonnie, Britt, MOT'ed today. While at the test centre in Renton I got talking to another biker who was in for an MOT on his 99 CBR600 and I am thinking he might be related to @Big Sandy I believe, from what he was saying, the chap lives in a camper van, states that he has enough Iodine to cope with radiation in the event of WWIII breaking out not to mention solar panels for power and chlorine for sterilising drinking water but, and this is the clincher that made me think of Sandy - His index finger on his right hand bent over across his other fingers and this is, he said, because he whacked it with an angle grinder but, rather than go to hospital (as he was of the opinion that the RAH in Paisley, is, 'an utter fuckin' stinking shithole of a place where you are likely to catch something and die rather than be healed') he super glued up the skin over the wound which was down the finger at an angle across the knuckle, covered it in germolene then strapped it to the next finger and wrapped it all up in cling film. Well, so his tale went, a couple of days later he removed the covering and discovered that the finger was healing but now frozen sticking straight out as the cut bone of the knuckle had started to heal in a way that meant it would no longer bend. Did he then seek medical help? No! He said that he just snapped the knuckle so that he was left with a permanently curved, twisted digit like a fucked up action man trigger finger. He said it now made his fingers a bit awkward for using an automatic (self proclaimed ex-squaddie) but he had trained himself to use his hunting bow with his other hand. I always seem to meet the nutters. :D
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Maybe you attract them like flies to ****? My superpower is giving unintended offence 🫤
 
MartytheMartian

MartytheMartian

Legendary Knight
I reckon it's my 'open and honest, caring' appearance that seems to attract these oddities. Over the years I've had some corkers. They always seem to buttonhole me as I pass in pubs and the like to regale me with their tales of woe. Quite some time ago I was at a Rockabilly Weekender in Hemsby and, moving from one venue to another this fellow buttonholed me with a tale of how he had been supposed to come to the bash with his cousin but the cousin inconsiderately upped and died the week before (I reckon he only faked his death to avoid having to spend the weekend with the chap) then, apparently the fellow, who had had some form of surgery on his inner thigh which resulted in no sensation in the area was supposed to use a heat lamp on it to aid healing but he fell asleep and woke to the smell of his leg cooking. Then his bike broke down followed by his car then he left his clobber on a train - My God it was horrendous and, while I'm being all sympathetic and listening patiently my mates, a rather unrefined bunch, were behind him silently doing mimes of hanging and wrist slitting while trying not to piss themselves laughing. By God what amazed me was that this extremely unlucky fellow had survived as long as he did without topping himself. I was losing the will to live rapidly by the time I managed to get away from the chap! Another guy, who I made the mistake of being civil to when he started calling in at the car park where all the local bikers used to hang out found out where I lived and started dropping by and the dude could suck the life out of the most up beat and energetic person alive. I swear to God that he was an energy vampire.
 
Big Sandy

Big Sandy

Legendary Knight
MartytheMartian said:
I always seem to meet the nutters
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This nutter knows where you live....🤣

But, I'm glad to know I'm not the only crazy one. Ironically my mate who lives dahn sarf in kentfordshire was repairing some panels on his campervan, and when he told me what he was up to, I reminded him to be careful with the grinder. Cue trying to remove his left index finger...severed the tendons. He went to th'ospital though....
 
MartytheMartian

MartytheMartian

Legendary Knight
That's it! Whenever I break out the angle grinder I'll be wearing my chain mail gloves. Maybe even a suit of bleeding armour too!

Being a sucker for tools and gadgets my attention was captured the other day by a mini table saw gizmo which also included a chuck on the side for sand/grinder attachments but, when I read a review which said that the chuck and saw run together and can't be switched off and on separately. Last thing I need is a circular saw blade whirring merrily away when I'm not actually concentrating on using it!
 
DD67

DD67

The Peace Keeper
Staff member
MartytheMartian said:
Chainsaws are something I try to avoid. Can do far too much damage far too quickly with one of those buggers.
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I tried to hire one years ago but couldn't because of some health & safety bullshit.
I could buy one, but hiring one wasn't allowed? 🤔

In the end I borrowed one from a mate. Then myself & another mate used all the available safety gear aka bike crash helmets & gloves.
We tied some thick string around the tree (no rope available)
I cut into the tree while my mate pulled on the string in the direction we wanted it to fall.

Much more by luck than judgement. The tree fell exactly where we wanted it. And no trip to A&E was required! 😀
 
MartytheMartian

MartytheMartian

Legendary Knight
Not for me, I would be belt and braces with all the best protective gear possible using a chainsaw, even a small one and cutting down a tree I'd have the bastard roped as well as possible so that it could only fall the direction I wanted it to. I've heard of too many folk coming a cropper using the things.
 
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