Joke of the day.

Big Sandy

Legendary Knight
Sarah was in the fertilized egg business. She had several hundred young pullets and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.
She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.
This took a lot of time, so she bought some tiny bells and attached them to her roosters. Each bell had a different tone, so she could tell from a distance which rooster was performing. Now, she could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.
Sarah's favourite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen but, this morning she noticed old Butch's bell hadn't rung at all! When she went to investigate, she saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.
To Sarah's amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job, and walk on to the next one.
Sarah was so proud of old Butch, she entered him in a Show and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.
The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the "No Bell Peace Prize" they also awarded him the "Pulletsurprise" as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren't paying attention?

Vote carefully in the next election. You can't always hear the bells.
 

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
A man goes into hospital for a vasectomy.

When he wakes up he's surrounded by several anxious-looking doctors and asks nervously. "Is there a problem?" The head surgeon says gently, with tears in his eyes. "I'm afraid so. I'm sorry, but your notes got mixed up and we've given you a sex change rather than a vasectomy."

The patient is devastated and shockingly replies. "Do you mean to say I'll never experience another erection."The surgeon pauses for a moment then says.


"Well, you might, but it won't be yours."
 

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
A little boy is walking home from school when a car pulls up beside him.

"Hello. Do you want some sweeties?"

"No", replies the little boy, who carries on walking.

A couple of minutes later the car pulls up alongside him again.

"Hello. Do you want to see some puppies?"

"No. Go away and leave me alone", said the little boy, increasing his pace.

A few minutes later the car pulls up alongside the little boy again. However before the driver can say anything the little boy goes up to the car and says to the driver,

"Look dad, you're the one who bought the Tesla, now go away and stop embarrassing me."
 
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