Joke of the day.

[Don the Don]

 

[Don the Don]

 

[Don the Don]

In a surprise collaboration, Bill Gates and Elon Musk have created a new drug for male genital enhancement.
It’s to be marketed as "Elongates."

In addition it's said to cure a condition called Microsoft.

 

[Don the Don]

Val Kilmer was excellent in Willow.

He looks even better in Mahogany.

 

[Don the Don]

My tattoo removal specialist, Dr Pablo, confessed to me recently that he had committed dozens of crimes yet has never been caught.

"How on earth are you a free man?" I asked him.

He smiled and said, “Nobody suspects the Spanish ink physician!”

 

[Don the Don]

A woman fighting with the doctor.

Doctor, I'm going to sue you and complain to the medical board! ????

Why?

Since you operated on my husband, he has no sex drive left and doesn't even approach me anymore! ????

Ma'am, I only operated on his eyes with lasers

 

[Don the Don]

I've never understood the point in fire blankets. Who's ever been in a fire and thought, "shit, it's a bit chilly in here

 

[Don the Don]

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a German, an American, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Jordanian, a Kiwi, a Swede, a Finn, a Canadian, an Israeli, a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian, an Argentinian, a Libyan, a Muslim, a Hindu, a Buddhist and an African went to a night club.
The bouncer said, "Sorry, I can't let you in without a Thai.

 

[Don the Don]

 

[Don the Don]

 

[Don the Don]

There was a fire at the circus yesterday.
After a mad scramble to get out a party of nuns realised that 84 year old Sister Jane had been left behind.
Immediately one of the clowns dashed back into the burning big top.
Everyone thought they were both goners, but after a few tense minutes he emerged carrying Sister Jane on his back to a hero's welcome.
Mind a lot of people see this as virgin on the ridiculous.

 

[Don the Don]

 

[Don the Don]

When I worked in a chocolate factory a man fell into a large vat of bubbly chocolate ..
My mate Bill was going to jump in to try and save him ....
But I said: "Billy.. don't be an Aero."

 

[Don the Don]

 

[Don the Don]

An older couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on.
Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. "How do you feel about sex?" he asked, rather tentatively.
"I would like it infrequently ", she replied.
The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, then leaned over towards her and whispered, "Is that one word or two?"