Joke of the day.

Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
Last week, I took my grandchildren to a restaurant.
My six-year-old grandson asked if he could say Grace.
As we bowed our heads he said, "God is good, God is great. Thank you for the Food, and I would even thank you more if Grandpa gets us ice cream for dessert. Amen!"
Along with the laughter from the other customers nearby, I heard a woman remark, "That's what's wrong with this country. Kids today don't even know how to pray.
Asking God for ice cream! Why, I never!"
Hearing this, my grandson burst into tears and asked me, "Did I do it all wrong? Is God cross with me?"
As I held him and assured him that he had done a terrific job, and God was certainly not mad at him, an elderly gentleman approached the table.
He winked at my grandson and said, "I happen to know that God thought that was a great prayer."
"Really?" my grand-son asked.
"Cross my heart," the man replied.
Then, in a theatrical whisper, he added (indicating the woman whose remark had started this whole thing),
"Too bad she never asks God for ice cream. A little Ice cream is good for the soul sometimes."
Naturally, I bought my grandchildren ice cream at the end of the meal.
My Grandson stared at his for a moment, and then did something I will remember for the rest of my life.
He picked up his sundae, and, without a word, walked over and placed it in front of the woman.
With a big smile he told her,
"Here, this is for you. Shove it up your arse you grumpy old bitch! "
 
Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
This bloke went to the Chinese doctors complaining he couldn't get a girlfriend no matter what he done
"Take your trousers off and bend over" asked the doctor
The man did this
" now turn round three times" he was told
"Any news doc ? " asked the man
" yep, Just as I thought" said the Chinese doctor, "you have Zackary syndrome."
"What the fook is that ?" asked the patient
Chinese Doctor replies "Your face is Zackary same as your arse."
 
Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
I was standing at the bar when a girl came up to me.
"Fancy buying me a drink?" She said,
"Sure," I replied. "If you let me choose."
"Okay," she grinned. "But how will you know what I want?"
"Well, it's kind of a talent," I smiled. "All I do is look a girl up and down and I know exactly what drink suits her best."
"Okay," she giggled. "You can choose for me."
So I turned to the barman and said, "Diet coke, mate."
 
Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
“I can’t believe that you’ve been visiting prostitutes for sex,” my wife screamed at me. “I’m really disappointed.” “You can hardly blame me,” I answered. “It’s not like I was getting any from you.” “Well that’s your fault,” she replied. “You never told me you were willing to pay for it.”
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top