Joke of the day.

[Foxy]

"Confused @Foxy"

The British threepence ( 3d) coin, usually simply known as a threepence, thruppence, or thruppenny bit, was a unit of currency equaling one eightieth of a pound sterling, or three old pence sterling. It was used in the United Kingdom,

Cheers Don, all becomes clear....... It went reyt over mi head, I must admit.

 

[Foxy]

Well, I got the joke @Don the Don and I'm the same age as @Foxy I think (58) so he's either *fik* or needs booking to Switzerland sharpish

Thanks for t'compliment Chas, but I'm 64, and just "fik".

 

[Sarky B’stard]

Thanks for t'compliment Chas, but I'm 64, and just "fik".

Well, if you’re thick, imagine my embarrassment struggling to understand your problem. I couldn’t find any thruppenny bits this side of the babes and bikes thread.

 

[Don the Don]

I went back to see my doctor today. I said, "I applied the pile cream that you gave me this morning and I got a very nasty reaction.""Where exactly did you apply it?" he asked.
I said, "On the bus."

 

[Don the Don]

We're so poor that I had to get my wife to sell one of her kidneys to pay for Christmas,
If things get any worse,
I might have to cancel SKy Sports.

 

[Don the Don]

The teacher asked me "if I give you 20 pounds, and you give 5 to Claire, 5 to Susan and 5 to Mary what would you have?"

Apparently three blow-jobs and a enough for a kebab was not the right answer.

 

[DD67]

"Confused @Foxy"

The British threepence ( 3d) coin, usually simply known as a threepence, thruppence, or thruppenny bit, was a unit of currency equaling one eightieth of a pound sterling, or three old pence sterling. It was used in the United Kingdom,

I reckon Foxy was just pulling your leg Don.
He's still got a thruppence in his jeans from the last round of drinks he purchased

 

[Sarky B’stard]

I reckon Foxy was just pulling your leg Don.
He's still got a thruppence in his jeans from the last round of drinks he purchased

A silver one!!

 

[Foxy]

I once found a shilling int bottom of mi beer glass. Don't remember much after that.....................

 

[chas]

I once found a shilling int bottom of mi beer glass. Don't remember much after that.....................

We won't press you for details...

 

[DD67]

We won't press you for details...

I believe it involved a barrel & a ship?

 

[Foxy]

Most definitely t'ship, don't know about t'barrel. I don't recall havin a sore arse when I came round.....................

 

[Don the Don]

Most definitely t'ship, don't know about t'barrel. I don't recall havin a sore arse when I came round.....................

Frigging in the rigging "eh", A little known fact the Naval Sextant was not at first for navigation but determined the "Angle of Dangle"

 

[Capt. Drunkey]

Frigging in the rigging "eh", A little known fact the Naval Sextant was not at first for navigation but determined the "Angle of Dangle"

Why did no one tell me during „naval-navigation“?

I always suspected that there was more to it...

 

[DD67]

Why did no one tell me during „naval-navigation“?

I always suspected that there was more to it...

Maybe they hoped you wouldn't crash your plane into the sea? Therefore you didn't need the info

 

[Don the Don]

Johnny was late for school. He finally gets to class and his teacher looks at him expectantly for his explanation.

"Sorry Im late Miss, my Uncle Dave got burnt".

"Im sorry too hear that Johnny, was he badly burnt"

"Well they don't f**k about at the crematorium"

 

[Don the Don]

Johnny is sat in Religious Studies learning about the immaculate conception. The girl next to him falls asleep and the teacher asks "Amelia, who was the messiah that Mary gave birth to?"
Johnny thinks quickly and jabs her in the arm with a drawing pin, she shouts out "Jesus Christ!" and the lesson resumes.

She falls asleep again and the teacher asks "Amelia, who was the father of Jesus?". Johnny jabs her in the arm with the drawing pin again and she shouts out "God almighty!". The lesson continues.

She falls asleep again and the teacher asks "What did Mary say to God when she had given birth to Jesus?". Johnny jabs her with the drawing pin again and Amelia shouts out "You stick that ruddy thing in me again and I'll shove it up your arse!".

 

[Don the Don]

My wife woke up with a big grin this morning.

I love those magic markers.

 

[Don the Don]

I took my wife out last night. The gunsmith's done a remarkable job on those sights.

 

[Don the Don]

It’s a lovely crisp morning.
I’ve had three bags already.