The Conspiracy Theorists Thread

Scrappy

Scrappy

Legendary Knight
Ok this one is a bit 'out there', bit interesting none the less I think. @MartytheMartian might have something to say on this ;)

It does piss me off that such a rare and beautiful animal is killed, when I'm sure with a bit of effort it could have been tranquillized and moved to safety :mad:

 
Sarky B’stard

Sarky B’stard

Legendary Knight
It’s not that rare. Fallow deer come in various colours, including white. That one was not albino. A panicked deer in an urban setting is a hazard to itself and road users. Dart guns and tranquilliser probably much harder to come by than a local stalker on the police assistance books.
 
Scrappy

Scrappy

Legendary Knight
Sarky B’stard said:
It’s not that rare. Fallow deer come in various colours, including white. That one was not albino. A panicked deer in an urban setting is a hazard to itself and road users. Dart guns and tranquilliser probably much harder to come by than a local stalker on the police assistance books.
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As I said previously, I used to live near a butchers and slaughter house, I witnessed an escaped bull running around the residential gardens and streets, which I would suggest is a greater hazard than a deer, however that bull with a bit of effort was successfully captured... of course only to be slaughtered within hours :rolleyes:
 
MartytheMartian

MartytheMartian

Legendary Knight
You would have thought they could have just knocked on one of the doors in the street and borrowed a shot of heroin for it. As Sarky says white and pale Deer aren't as rare as people might think. There are a couple around Dunkeld in Perthshire and just because they are rare doesn't actually mean they are special. They are actually a negative in the breeding stock as, should they pass on the gene, they make deer that are easier to see and kill. If anything deer stocks are way too high because of lack of predation or, as we call it, hunting. There are so many deer up here these days that the forestry employ people to shoot them to keep stocks down.
 
Sarky B’stard

Sarky B’stard

Legendary Knight
Scrappy said:
As I said previously, I used to live near a butchers and slaughter house, I witnessed an escaped bull running around the residential gardens and streets, which I would suggest is a greater hazard than a deer, however that bull with a bit of effort was successfully captured... of course only to be slaughtered within hours :rolleyes:
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The bull is worth plenty money slaughtered and dressed but near worthless as roadkill. It’s all that hygiene and provenance stuff!
 
Scrappy

Scrappy

Legendary Knight
MartytheMartian said:
You would have thought they could have just knocked on one of the doors in the street and borrowed a shot of heroin for it. As Sarky says white and pale Deer aren't as rare as people might think. There are a couple around Dunkeld in Perthshire and just because they are rare doesn't actually mean they are special. They are actually a negative in the breeding stock as, should they pass on the gene, they make deer that are easier to see and kill. If anything deer stocks are way too high because of lack of predation or, as we call it, hunting. There are so many deer up here these days that the forestry employ people to shoot them to keep stocks down.
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Who are you, and what have you done with Marty?

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I was expecting you to pick up on "its a sign" or "its Christ" and/or "The Apocalypse" ;)
 
Big Sandy

Big Sandy

Legendary Knight
There's a white stag knocking about round here too. It's a fly bugger though, or lucky.

I remember the stalker I used to work with telling me about the time he was high up in the hills, on a narrow path. He goes round a big rock to be confronted by a 12 pointer coming the other way. They stood looking at each other for a while. Not a wide enough path for the stag to turn.

So the stalker just lay down. The stag walked over him very carefully, only trod on him once, briefly. And then they carried on their separate ways. I believe him, he wasn't one for porkies.

He's been dead for about 12 years now. Had a massive heart attack up on the hill a couple of weeks before he died. Great shame, he was an amazing bloke.
 
Sarky B’stard

Sarky B’stard

Legendary Knight
Scrappy said:
Just hope you never see her do a Lady Godiva :eek:
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Not a Lady Godiva but crossed paths at Edinburgh airport maybe 5 yrs ago (adjacent tables) and leaping into a cab at Glasgow Central before that. She’s tiny and still hasn’t mastered those ridiculous Minnie Mouse shoes having spent her entire formative years in ‘sensible shoes’.

Now, I freely acknowledge it is most ungallant to say so, but the camera does not lie. She is a total munter, unusually so. I suspect it shapes her World view because most people on meeting her will suffer an involuntary ’’Ew!’
 
Old Nick

Old Nick

Legendary Knight
Sarky B’stard said:
Not a Lady Godiva but crossed paths at Edinburgh airport maybe 5 yrs ago (adjacent tables) and leaping into a cab at Glasgow Central before that. She’s tiny and still hasn’t mastered those ridiculous Minnie Mouse shoes having spent her entire formative years in ‘sensible shoes’.

Now, I freely acknowledge it is most ungallant to say so, but the camera does not lie. She is a total munter, unusually so. I suspect it shapes her World view because most people on meeting her will suffer an involuntary ’’Ew!’
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I’m getting the impression you don’t fancy her then :p
 
MartytheMartian

MartytheMartian

Legendary Knight
I've met her in person myself too and she has a face like a burst ball. Looking back I think fondly of how I flicked a poor wasp into her face with an SNP leaflet. First time in my life I ever felt sorry for a wasp! Met John Swinney and Mike Russell too and both of them are kind of repellant in person. If you shake hands with them you feel the need for sanitizer or bleach instantly. The missus met Alec Salmond and says he was an unpleasant little black cloud when he visited the place where she worked. Ignored everyone when the cameras weren't on him.
 
Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
MartytheMartian said:
I've met her in person myself too and she has a face like a burst ball. Looking back I think fondly of how I flicked a poor wasp into her face with an SNP leaflet. First time in my life I ever felt sorry for a wasp! Met John Swinney and Mike Russell too and both of them are kind of repellant in person. If you shake hands with them you feel the need for sanitizer or bleach instantly. The missus met Alec Salmond and says he was an unpleasant little black cloud when he visited the place where she worked. Ignored everyone when the cameras weren't on him.
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You meet the nicest people don't you @MartytheMartian ......"Not"
 
Old Nick

Old Nick

Legendary Knight
MartytheMartian said:
I've met her in person myself too and she has a face like a burst ball. Looking back I think fondly of how I flicked a poor wasp into her face with an SNP leaflet. First time in my life I ever felt sorry for a wasp! Met John Swinney and Mike Russell too and both of them are kind of repellant in person. If you shake hands with them you feel the need for sanitizer or bleach instantly. The missus met Alec Salmond and says he was an unpleasant little black cloud when he visited the place where she worked. Ignored everyone when the cameras weren't on him.
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Marty you should consider a career change to the Diplomatic corps, you’d be a sure winner in any psychological appraisal of the opposition(y)

I’ve never heard of anyone being described as an ‘unpleasant little black cloud’ before - brilliant:D:LOL:

(I’m nicking that by the way(y))
 
MartytheMartian

MartytheMartian

Legendary Knight
Your welcome @Old Nick From the way my wife described her meeting with the man that is exactly the image that popped into my head. Meeting Ms Sturgeon was not intended, I was simply living for a few months in Govanhill (her constituency) while preparing for a move North when she came a'calling canvassing votes. Just at the right moment the wasp flew between me and her and I deftly, with one of her own pamphlets, flicked it into her face. As for Mr Russell, he was my own local MSP while also the Scottish Education minister and so I had to meet him while working to get my stepson into a placement at a school which could deal with his autism and, by the time my stepson was nearing the end of his schooling Swinney had been put in charge of education. Russell is an ignorant man who treats people like obstructions to be avoided and I believe it was actually his staff who did all the work and the only use he served was literally in his name only and it's ability to open doors and make people jump and Swinney is a long streak of cold grey drizzle. You can have that one as well @Old Nick if you can find a use for it 😁
 
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