What's Boiling Your Pi$$ Today?

[Big Sandy]

I was refused service in an off-licence in Cheshire after trying to buy booze and ciggies with a Clydesdale bank 20. Folks had just bought a house and I'd driven from Ayrshire that morning to deliver their furniture, finished moving everything in and getting them set up, and fancied a drink.

Apparently I looked 'suspicious'... .. Fancy that.

 

[chas]

Apparently I looked 'suspicious'... .. Fancy that.

To be fair mate, you do.

 

[DD67]

To be fair mate, you do.

I'm surprised the shopkeeper dared to point it out

 

[Doc Strange]

Apparently I looked 'suspicious'... .. Fancy that.

Take it as a complement matey - better than looking 'respectable'!

I'll never forget the outrage I felt when a copper stopped the car I was driving and called me 'Sir' - god I felt old!!

DS

 

[BAD LUCK DUCK]

Whilst having a dump at work and posting a bear joke on the forum the toilet seat just broke and twatted my knackers...
My boss as legged it and doesn't want to deal with the situation

 

[Doc Strange]

My boss as legged it and doesn't want to deal with the situation

What was your boss doing in the lav with you?

On second thoughts, don't tell us!

DS

 

[MartytheMartian]

Jeezus @BAD LUCK DUCK you really do live up to your name dontchya? Did you crack the pan at the same time? Did you ask the boss to kiss them better?

 

[Public Enemy]

Whilst having a dump at work and posting a bear joke on the forum the toilet seat just broke and twatted my knackers...
My boss as legged it and doesn't want to deal with the situation
View attachment 14569

Is that a bottle of Toilet Duck on the windowsill?

 

[Don the Don]

You need to chew your food a bit more @BAD LUCK DUCK , fidgeting and straining on the bog always ends badly

 

[DD67]

What was your boss doing in the lav with you?

On second thoughts, don't tell us!

DS

I'd imagine they were comparing rainbow badges. And discussing their favourite safe space & brand of meat free meat
I blame Duck for leaving the door open & asking his boss when meat last passed his lips?

 

[smib]

Whilst having a dump at work and posting a bear joke on the forum the toilet seat just broke and twatted my knackers...
My boss as legged it and doesn't want to deal with the situation
View attachment 14569

You weren't in there "Cottaging", with that gay bloke whose wedding you've been invited to................. were you ?

 

[smib]

I'd imagine they were comparing rainbow badges. And discussing their favourite safe space & brand of meat free meat
I blame Duck for leaving the door open & asking his boss when meat last passed his lips?

 

[Sarky B’stard]

Well Duck, I'm sorry your so-called 'friends' have shown themselves to be so unsympathetic. If I had had a similar experience there would have been additional evidence of a traumatic evacuation in the photographs.

Or perhaps they think it's another tall story like your drunken, naked ladies. You see we know duck testes are internal so how exactly did they get 'twatted'?

 

[BAD LUCK DUCK]

See what your all like...
Bloke almost gets castrated and you lot take the piss..
My gaffer won't even put my knackers in the accident book...

 

[DD67]

My gaffer won't even put my knackers in the accident book...

Like pressed flowers?

 

[BAD LUCK DUCK]

Like pressed flowers?

Almost mate I tell you

 

[MartytheMartian]

Why would you want him to put your knackers in the book? It would very painful when it's closed too.

 

[BAD LUCK DUCK]

Why would you want him to put your knackers in the book? It would very painful when it's closed too.

I'm just kinky

 

[chas]

I'm just kinky

Not anymore mate, just flat

 

[Don the Don]

See what your all like...
Bloke almost gets castrated and you lot take the piss..
My gaffer won't even put my knackers in the accident book...

Sweet & sour Duck balls anyone