Joke of the day.

Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
Nelson Mandela. was sitting at home drinking a beer one day when there’s a knock on the door. Mandela opens it to find a little Chinese man with a clipboard. Behind him is a huge truck full of car exhausts. The Chinese man thrusts the lady at him and says “you sign here, you sign here”. Mandela says “you’ve got the wrong address” and shuts the door on him.

Next day, Nelson is relaxing again at home when there’s another knock on the door. Again, there’s the little Chinese man with a clipboard, but this time there’s a truck full of brake parts behind him. Again he thrusts the clip board at Mandela and says “you sign here, you sign here”. Again the great man says “you’ve got the wrong address and pushes the door closed”

Third day, Mandela is again sitting quietly sitting at home when there’s a knock on the door. Again, it’s the same little Chinese guy with a clipboard. And again he just says “you sign here”. But this time, there’s two car transporters full of new cars behind him.

Mandela is this time bloody angry. He yells at the guy, “why the **** are your bringing me truck loads of new cars. Let me see, what name is on that form. There must be a big mistake”

The little Chinese guy looks at the paperwork on the clipboard and asks politely in his best Chinglish

“You not Nissan Main Dealer?”
 
Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
I woke up Saturday morning, got dressed and went in the kitchen where my girlfriend was already fixing breakfast.
I looked to see what she was cooking, and I see one of my socks in the frying pan.
"What are you doing?" I asked her.
She said "I'm doing what you asked me to do last night when you came to bed very drunk," she replied.
Completely puzzled, I walked away thinking to myself,
"I really don't remember asking her to cook my sock...".
 
DD67

DD67

The Peace Keeper
Staff member
Don the Don said:
Nelson Mandela. was sitting at home drinking a beer one day when there’s a knock on the door. Mandela opens it to find a little Chinese man with a clipboard. Behind him is a huge truck full of car exhausts. The Chinese man thrusts the lady at him and says “you sign here, you sign here”. Mandela says “you’ve got the wrong address” and shuts the door on him.

Next day, Nelson is relaxing again at home when there’s another knock on the door. Again, there’s the little Chinese man with a clipboard, but this time there’s a truck full of brake parts behind him. Again he thrusts the clip board at Mandela and says “you sign here, you sign here”. Again the great man says “you’ve got the wrong address and pushes the door closed”

Third day, Mandela is again sitting quietly sitting at home when there’s a knock on the door. Again, it’s the same little Chinese guy with a clipboard. And again he just says “you sign here”. But this time, there’s two car transporters full of new cars behind him.

Mandela is this time bloody angry. He yells at the guy, “why the **** are your bringing me truck loads of new cars. Let me see, what name is on that form. There must be a big mistake”

The little Chinese guy looks at the paperwork on the clipboard and asks politely in his best Chinglish

“You not Nissan Main Dealer?”
Click to expand...
@Judd Dredd
Please could we have a "FFS" emoji?
Many thanks in advance 🙂
 
Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
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Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said, "Bless Me, Father for I have sinned. During World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighbourhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic."

The priest replied: "That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that."

"There is more to tell, Father... She started to repay me with sexual favours. This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays."

The priest said, "That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, you placed the two of you in great danger. But two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven."

"Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. I do have one more question."

"And what is that?" asked the priest.

"Should I tell her the war is over?
 
Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
DD67 said:
I wouldn't be laughing if this was happening to me. But fortunately it didn't. Therefore it's very funny indeed 🤣

BBC News - Man shocked as armed police raid St Albans flat by mistake
www.bbc.co.uk

Man shocked as armed police raid flat by mistake

Security video shows officers carrying rifles banging on a front door looking for a knife suspect.
www.bbc.co.uk
Click to expand...
It happened on a regular basis back in the day of the west midland serious crime squad, the last one was an old couple whose door was took off it's hinges and the old man ended up in hospital after a cardiac arrest, they started to disband them not long after that
 
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