Don the Don
Legendary Knight
How did you think I came across it
Don the Don
Legendary Knight
I love taking pictures of myself standing next to a boiling kettle.
The doctor says I've got selfie steam issues.
The doctor says I've got selfie steam issues.
Don the Don
Legendary Knight
Is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away, or is it just one of Granny's myths?
These days it's a bacon sandwich that would keep most Dr's away.
Big Sandy
Legendary Knight
Fechin epic!
Don the Don
Legendary Knight
Some bloke knocked on my door this morning and said, "Have you got a dog?"
I said, "Yes, why?"
He said, "Is it white, overweight, quite hairy and has a really ugly face?"
I said, "Yes, why?"
He said, "I think I've just killed It with my car".
"Well it can't be mine", I replied.
"Mine is in bed, eating toast and watching Jeremy Kyle".
I said, "Yes, why?"
He said, "Is it white, overweight, quite hairy and has a really ugly face?"
I said, "Yes, why?"
He said, "I think I've just killed It with my car".
"Well it can't be mine", I replied.
"Mine is in bed, eating toast and watching Jeremy Kyle".
Don the Don
Legendary Knight
Does anyone know how many thin mints you need to eat until they work?
Don the Don
Legendary Knight
The first rule of primary school fight club is...
"He started it!"
"He started it!"
Don the Don
Legendary Knight
Everyone picks their nose.
Its what you do next that defines you
Its what you do next that defines you
Don the Don
Legendary Knight
Australian immigration officer: "Do you have a criminal record?"
Would-be immigrant: "No, I'm sorry, I didn't know you still needed one."
Would-be immigrant: "No, I'm sorry, I didn't know you still needed one."
Don the Don
Legendary Knight
The bloke who has had a pigs heart fitted should be out of hospital in about a weeeeeeeeek.
Don the Don
Legendary Knight
I’m looking for somewhere to stay temporarily while I recover from a rather nasty injury that happened just before I became homeless.
What happened was my wife told me to go to the chemist’s and get some of those pills that might reawaken the part that has been inactive for a while now.
So I did and the last thing I seem to remember was handing her the big box of slimming pills ….
What happened was my wife told me to go to the chemist’s and get some of those pills that might reawaken the part that has been inactive for a while now.
So I did and the last thing I seem to remember was handing her the big box of slimming pills ….
Don the Don
Legendary Knight
Change.org petition for Putin to invade Ukraine as soon as possible has 2 signatures so far..
Boris Johnson
Prince Andrew
Boris Johnson
Prince Andrew
Don the Don
Legendary Knight
Random fact: Crotchless knickers were invented so witches could get a better grip on their broomsticks.
Don the Don
Legendary Knight
If I ever win the lottery, rest assured nobody around me will be poor.
I will move to a rich neighbourhood.
I will move to a rich neighbourhood.
Don the Don
Legendary Knight
JOB VACANCY......
Carpenters Urgently Required
Cabinet falling apart-- Apply to
10 Downing Street,
London.
No Tools required the building is full of them.
Carpenters Urgently Required
Cabinet falling apart-- Apply to
10 Downing Street,
London.
No Tools required the building is full of them.
Don the Don
Legendary Knight
Welcome to Word Of The Day.
Now today’s word is Starmer ... Starmer
A Starmer is the name given to a vacuum enclosed by a posh suit.
Now today’s word is Starmer ... Starmer
A Starmer is the name given to a vacuum enclosed by a posh suit.
Don the Don
Legendary Knight
It's OK for the government to take wine to work and have a good old time, but when I did it on the no 17 to Manchester passengers complained like ****.
One rule for ministers and their cronies but another for hard working bus drivers.
One rule for ministers and their cronies but another for hard working bus drivers.
Don the Don
Legendary Knight
The price of grooming products is getting ridiculous, 70p for a small tube of Smarties!
Don the Don
Legendary Knight
Man: Doctor, my cock is too small for sex.
Doctor: Try using your hands too wiggle it about.
Man: I cant.
Doctor: Why not?
Man: I need them both to hold its legs to stop it escaping !!
Doctor: Try using your hands too wiggle it about.
Man: I cant.
Doctor: Why not?
Man: I need them both to hold its legs to stop it escaping !!