Joke of the day.

[Don the Don]

The last time I went to Blackpool I went on a donkey.

It took me 3 days to get there.

 

[Don the Don]

Did you hear about the Chameleon who couldn't change colour?
He had a reptile dysfunction!

 

[Don the Don]

A frog, who wondered about his ancestry, went for a DNA test.

As it turned out; he was mostly French but a tad Pole …

 

[Public Enemy]

The last time I went to Blackpool I went on a donkey.

It took me 3 days to get there.

Now that's a photo I'd like to see!

 

[Don the Don]

Now that's a photo I'd like to see!

Aye I'd end up carrying the fecker

 

[Don the Don]

Bob the builder goes up to a girl in a nightclub and says, "I have an 8 inch dick and can shag all night"... After a few beers she takes Bob home with her.
The next morning she says, "You said you had an 8 inch dick and could last all night. Instead you have a 5inch dick and lasted 3 minutes"...

Bob replies "I'm a builder love. It was an estimate"...

 

[Don the Don]

I watched a beauty contest in Swansea while I was on holiday. The girl who won had 36 double D's.

Even by Welsh standards, that's a long surname.

 

[Don the Don]

Swampy the eco-warrior has died of a heart attack.
They offered him a bypass but he wasn't having any of it.

 

[Don the Don]

Martin Scorsese's film "The Wolf of Wall Street" broke a record by using the word "F**k" or "F**king" 506 times.
That actually beats my record, set in 2013, trying to put an Ikea wardrobe together...

 

[Don the Don]

TODAY'S TRIVIA FACT
Although Jesus was known as a carpenter,
he never actually sang on any of their albums.

 

[Don the Don]

"Don't forget, on the 34th of March clocks go sideways"

Diane Abbot

 

[Don the Don]

I've just been reading a poignant and very sad story about the decline of independent bookshops which used to be on every high street in the country.
Great read and I got it for only £3.99 on Amazon

 

[Don the Don]

There's been an ongoing discussion about Jesus being black or white. After finding out his dad created him then essentially pissed off I'm pretty sure I've made up my mind.

 

[Don the Don]

Top tip for those about to take a driving test.
When the examiner asks "What sign would you expect to see down a narrow country lane?"
"Fresh farm eggs for sale’ isn’t the answer

 

[Don the Don]

Thought for the day.
If blues singers woke up in the afternoon
they wouldn't be so depressed.

 

[Don the Don]

Fact of the day
Hippos can run faster than humans on land, and swim faster than humans in water. Which means the bicycle is your only chance of beating a hippo in a triathlon.

 

[Don the Don]

What's the difference between Anusol and Deep Heat?
I'll tell you once I've finished crying.

 

[Tallpaul]

What's the difference between Anusol and Deep Heat?
I'll tell you once I've finished crying.

I'm just working my way through a tube of Anusol.

 

[Bad Billy]

What's the difference between Anusol and Deep Heat?
I'll tell you once I've finished crying.

I remember as a Youff forgetting to wash my hands after using Deep Heat, went for a piss, took a little while but boy did that smart!

 

[Sarky B’stard]

I've seen a bloke sitting in a sink of tepid water at the rugby club after the injudicious application of Wintergreen.