Joke of the day.

half ton

half ton

Legendary Knight
Talking of insurance claims..my son just got paid out for a write off...(Beemer went from left lane across middle lane and straight into the side of his Fiat Abarth ) he just managed to clear his bank loan and is still out by £600 on his excess..unless they admit liability in which case he will get that back. :mad:
 
DD67

DD67

The Peace Keeper
Staff member
half ton said:
Talking of insurance claims..my son just got paid out for a write off...(Beemer went from left lane across middle lane and straight into the side of his Fiat Abarth ) he just managed to clear his bank loan and is still out by £600 on his excess..unless they admit liability in which case he will get that back. :mad:
Click to expand...
The drivers of German cars (excluding myself) Seem to suffer from a panic attack/small willy syndrome until they are ensconced in the outside lane of a motorway.
The manoeuvre you described is a very common one HT.
A mate of mine was forced into the central reservation by a similar BMW driving prick. He rolled his SUV after the impact with the barrier.

I avoid motorways unless a quick journey time. Is more important than fun times on an A or B road. Which is a very rare occurrence these days 🙂

Hopefully your lad gets justice & doesn't suffer financially
 
Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
Why is it, when girls wear skimpy, revealing bikinis on holiday, they don't mind you staring at them? Yet if you catch them wearing only their bra and knickers, they scream and shout and cover themselves up with a towel?
Sort it out Ladies. I don't climb up this ladder for the good of my health you know.
 
Foxy

Foxy

Legendary Knight
I think, I'm going to lose my licence and all just because of a stupid police officer who pulled me over on the way home from Dornoch this morning. The conversation went like this, when I got pulled over in my car:

Officer: "License and registration, please, I think you are drunk!"

Me: "I assure you, I did not drink anything."

Officer: "Ok, let's do a little test! Imagine driving in the dark on the A9 at night, when you see two lights in the distance. What is this?"

Me: "A car."

Officer: "Of course! But which one? A Mercedes, an Audi or a Ford?"

Me: "I have no idea!"

Officer: "So, you're drunk."

Me: "But I didn't drink anything."

Officer: "Okay, one more test. Imagine, you drive in the dark on the A96 at night, and there is one light coming at you.What is it?

Me: "A motorcycle."

Officer: "Of course! But which one? A Honda, a Kawasaki or a Harley?"

Me: "I have no idea!"

Officer: "As I suspected, you're drunk!"

Then I started to get annoyed and asked a counter question.

Me: "So, counter question. You're driving in the dark in a City at night and see a woman on the roadside. She wears a mini skirt, fishnet stockings, high heeled shoes and only a bra as a top. What is this?"

Officer: "A prostitute of course."

Me: "Yes, but which one? Your daughter, your wife or your mother?"

Things went downhill from there and now I have a court date to attend...😂😂😂😂
 
Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
All Medical Drugs have Two Names,
A Trade Name and a Generic Name.
For Example :-
The Trade Name is Tylenol and it's Generic Name is Acetaminophen..
Aleve is also called Naproxen.
Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The F.D.A. has been looking for a Generic Name for Viagra..????
After careful consideration by a Team of UK Government experts,
It recently announced that it has settled on the Generic Name of Mycoxafloppin.
Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix,
And of course, my personal favourite ;-
*
"IBEPOKIN"..
 
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