Joke of the day.

Foxy

Foxy

Legendary Knight
Don the Don said:
A Native American chief in a polygamous tribe has three squaws. The first squaw is installed in a teepee where she sits on deer hide. The second squaw is installed in a teepee where she sits on bear hide. The third squaw is installed in a teepee where she sits on a hippopotamus hide an explorer picked up in Africa and gifted the chief.

The first squaw bears the chief a son. The second squaw also bears a son. The third squaw bears the chief twin sons.

This proves that the squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws on the other two hides.
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I wonder how long that one took to think up!!!
 
Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
Elderly couple are shopping in Iceland. He gets a bit out of puff so she tells him to go and sit by the tills whilst she finds something for pudding. She gets to the pudding section and finds herself also running out of puff. A chap wearing a fur cloak and horned helmet asks her in a strange accent if she's okay. "Oh," she says, "if only I could get down this aisle and chose a few puddings for the week I could go to the till, pay and we could drive home but I'm out of whack."

"Not to worry. I'll piggy-back you. Take your time; choose what you want."

So the strange bloke does just this and the old girl, suitably recovered, prepares to walk to the till and cash out. She turns to the mysterious figure and says, "What are you? What is your name?"

"My name is not important. I am a Viking, is all you need to know."

He turns and disappears into the mists of veg' aisle.

She gets to the checkout and her husband asks, "What took so long? Where have you been?"

And she says, "I've been through the desserts on a Norse with no name..."
 
Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
A little girl with a lisp walks into a pet shop and says to the shop owner.

” I want a fwuffy bunny wabbit”.

The shop owner boorishly and paternalistically replies

“ Would you wike a bwown fwuffy wabbit or a bwack fwuffy wabbit”.

The little girl replies

“ I don’t think my pyfon gives a fwuck”.
 
Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
P*ssed bloke gets off of his bar stool in the pub and falls flat on his face. Can't get up and ends up dragging his self home using his elbows. Manages to get home, drags himself upstairs and crawls into bed. Next morning woken up by his wife shouting "How much did you have to drink last night? The landlord's on the phone, you left your wheelchair there'.
 
Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
:ROFLMAO:

To the civilians that don't understand the British Military

The United Kingdom Armed Forces explained in a simple manner-

The Royal Navy is the oldest son, Mum and Dad made all their parenting mistakes with him. The Army is the middle son, they are the explorers who left home and no one cared. The Royal Marines are the youngest and Mum and Dad let them do whatever they want. They have an inferiority complex due to their small size.

Well, Mum and Dad got a divorce once all the boys had grown up. Mum got remarried to a rich bloke and quickly gave birth to a fourth son, the Royal Air Force. She loves him the most, showers him with the best toys and buys him whatever he wants. When they go on holiday, they fly first class, stay in five star hotels and enjoy the finest meals. The RAF is spoiled rotten and his three older brothers bitterly resent him for this.

Finally there is the RAF Regiment. The RAF Regiment is the rich stepfathers illegitimate son from a fling with a filthy prostitute during the seven year itch. None of the other brothers think or act like he's part of the family and treat him like the unwanted ginger bastard stepchild that nobody wants.
 
Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
So, there's this really randy rooster in the barnyard. He's humping everything in sight, the hens, cows, horses, even the dog. The farmer takes him aside and says, "Look, you have a lot of stamina, that's great, but you're gonna wear yourself out. Too much of a good thing is gonna kill you."
The next morning the farmer comes out to find the rooster in the middle of the barnyard laying on his back, eyes closed, legs straight up in the air, vultures circling overhead, looking dead as a doornail. The farmer says, "I told so." The rooster opens one eye and says "Shhhh. If you want to fuck vultures, you have to play their game."
 
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