Joke of the day.

Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
A married woman is having an affair.

Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine-year-old son in the closet. One day the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet, as well.

Inside the closet, the little boy says, “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” “Yes, it is,” the man replies. “You wanna buy a baseball?” the little boy asks. “No thanks,” the man replies. “I think you do want to buy a baseball,” the little extortionist continues.

After considering the position he is in, the man replies “OK. How much?”

“Twenty-five dollars,” the little boy replies.

“TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!” the man repeats incredulously but complies to protect his hidden position.

The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway and, again, places her lover in the closet with her little boy.

“It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” the boy starts off.

“Yes it is,” replies the man.

“Wanna buy a baseball glove? ” the little boy asks.

“OK. How much?” the hiding lover responds, acknowledging his disadvantage.

“Fifty dollars,” the boy replies, and the transaction is completed.

The next weekend, the little boy’s father says “Hey son, go get your ball and glove and we’ll play some catch.”
“I can’t. I sold them,” replies the little boy.

“How much did you get for them?,” asks the father, expecting to hear the profit in terms of lizards and candy.
“Seventy-five dollars,” the little boy says.

“SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?! That’s thievery! I’m taking you to church right now. You must confess your sin and ask for forgiveness,” the father explains as he hauls the child away.

At the church, the little boy goes into the confessional, draws the curtain, sits down, and says “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?”




“Don’t you start that shit in here now,” the priest replies.
 
Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
A little Boy and a little Girl attended the same School and became Friends.
Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch.
They discovered that they both brought Chicken Sandwiches every day. . . !
This went on all through the Fourth and Fifth Grades, until one day he noticed that her Sandwich, wasn't a Chicken Sandwich.
He said. "Hey, how come you're Not Eating Chicken, don't you like it anymore"..???
She said. "I love it, But I have to stop Eating it."
"Why"..??? He asked.
She pointed to her lap and said.
"Cause I'm starting to grow little Feathers down there". . . !!
"Let me see." He said.
"Okay." And she pulled up her Skirt.
He looked and said.
"That's right. You are. . . ! ! Better not eat any more Chicken."
He kept eating his Chicken Sandwiches, until one day he brought Peanut Butter.
He said to the Little Girl.
"I have to stop eating Chicken Sandwiches, I'm starting to get Feathers down there too". . !
She asked if she could look, so he pulled down his pants for her.
She said.
*
"Oh, my God, it's too late for you. . . !! You've already got the NECK and GIBLETS”…
 
Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight

So two gay men are walking together through a Zoo..​

They come across a gorilla and notice that the male gorilla has a massive erection. The two men are fascinated by this.
One of the men just can't bear it any longer so he reaches into the cage to touch it. The gorilla grabs him, drags him into the cage and has his way with him for six hours, non-stop, while the zoo attendants helplessly stand by.
When he's done, the gorilla throws the man out of the cage. An ambulance is called and the man is taken away to the hospital.
A few days later, his friend visits him in the hospital and asks, "Are you hurt?"
Am I hurt?" he shouts, "Wouldn't you be? He hasn't called, he hasn't written...
 
Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
A Woman is walking past a Pet Shop, when she notices a Sign in their Window.
"Good Homes Needed, for Clitoris-Licking FROGS"..?!?!?
The Woman goes inside and says to the Pet Shopkeeper,
"I noticed you have a Clitoris-Licking Frog..??? I'll Take One Please".
He packages up one of the Frogs.
The Woman, shyly sneaks out the Door and rushes home.
She gets home., Takes out the Instructions and reads them carefully, before doing exactly what it says to do.
Which Reads Like :-
Take a Shower. Put on some nice smelling Perfume.
Put on a very sexy Nightie.
Get into Bed, spread your Legs and put the FROG down - "THERE".
To her surprise, NOTHING Happens.
So, she thought, perhaps the Scent she chose, is not appealing to the Frog...
So, she Showers again... and tries another Perfume.
She gets back into Bed, and she puts the Frog between her Legs and Again NOTHING. . . !
She's totally Frustrated and Pissed Off at this point.
She Reads the Instructions again thinking that there might be something she overlooked.
At the bottom of the paper it says.
“If you have any Problems or Questions, please call the Pet Store”. So, she does.
The Pet Shop Man from behind the counter says,
"I've had a few complaints earlier today, I'll be right over to check out the problem".
A few minutes later, he knocks on the Lady's Front Door.
He enters and says, "You'll have to show me exactly what you did"..??
So she does. She Showers, puts on the Perfume and the Teddy, gets into Bed...
And puts the Frog between her Legs, again.
And Guess What..???
**NOTHING HAPPENS**.
She says, "See, I've done everything according to the instructions and the damn thing just Sits There."
The Shop Man looking very concerned, picks up the Frog, looks directly into the Frog's Eyes and says,
"Now then FRENCHIE".
*
"I'M ONLY GOING TO SHOW YOU HOW TO DO THIS, JUST ONE MORE TIME"..
 
Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
An old man was sitting in private box at a major football match with an empty seat next to him:
A young enthusiast saw the empty seat and said to the old man. "Who on earth has paid for this expensive seat but not turned up! they must be mad, do you mind if I sit here?"
The old man sadly looked up and said. "For 50yrs me and my darling wife have sat together and watched every major final, but unfortunately she has passed away so was unable to come, so you can glady take her place if you like."
The young man thanked him for his kind generosity and sat beside the old man.
The young man turned to him and said. "I hope you don't mind me asking, but as sad as your story is, I have to ask, have you not got any relatives, like a son or grandchild or nephew that you could if brought along with you?"
The old man said. "Yes I have, but they've all gone to the funeral."
 
Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
A woman went to the doctor's office where she was seen by one of the younger doctors. After about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story.

After listening, he had her sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched down the hallway back to where the young doctor was writing on his clipboard.

"What's the matter with you?" the older doctor demanded.
"Mrs. Terry is 61 years old, has four grown children and seven grandchildren and you told her she was pregnant?"

The younger doctor continued writing, and without looking up and said,

"Does she still have the hiccups?"
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top