Joke of the day.

Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
I was having a coffee the other day when a very old couple walked in and asked if they could sit at my table. I agreed and the gentleman sat down while his wife went to the counter.

I said “I hope you don’t mind but you seem quite mobile for your age, how old are you?”

He said “I’m 94 and my wife’s 90”

“Wow! How long have you been married?”

“71 years”

“That’s some going”

“Yes but we’re getting divorced next week”

“Really, after so long? Why now?”

“Well, we haven’t been getting on for a while but we thought we’d wait until the kids were dead”
 
Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith about enlarging her tiny breasts.

Dr. Smith advised her, "Every day after your shower rub your chest and say, "Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies”

She did this faithfully for several months and it worked!

She grew terrific D-cup boobs.

One morning she was running late, got on the bus and in a panic realised she had forgotten her morning ritual.

Frightened she might lose her lovely boobs if she didn"t recite the little rhyme, she stood right there in the middle aisle of the bus closed her eyes and said, "Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies”.

A guy sitting nearby looked at her and said, "By any chance, are you a patient of Dr. Smith"s?"

"Why, yes I am... How did you know?" she replied.

He leaned closer, winked and whispered, "Hickory dickory dock”.
 
Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
A Couple were Driving at 70mph down the Road, (Husband behind the Wheel).
The Wife suddenly says,
"Honey, I know we've been Married twenty years but I want a Divorce"..??
He says nothing but Increases the Car's Speed to 80mph.
She says,
"Now don't try to talk me out of it. Cos I've been Screwing Delboy, your best friend for sometime now and he IS much better at Sex, than you could ever be",
He stays quiet, but Speeds up to 90mph.
She says, "And I want the House and the Car." (He is now doing 100mph.)
"Also, I want the Bank Accounts and the Credit Cards too"..?!?!? she says,
The Husband suddenly starts to veer towards the Side of the Road and a Large Grove of Big, Cedar Trees.
The Wife gets a bit nervous and asks,
"Isn't there ANYTHING you want"..???
"Nope, I've got all I need thanks". He replies.
"Oh Really", she says sneeringly,
"So what exactly do you have"..?? she asks,
Just a split second, before they Hit the Biggest Tree, now doing at least at 120mph.
He just smiles and says,
"The Only Air-Bag, Bitch"
 
Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
I was reading a history book about the Middle East. Apparently for centuries there was a huge problem with nocturnal birds of prey flying around in flocks and ejaculating on people.

The local Arabs started a bulletin system so that people would know where the birds were likely to strike next. Its still around today.

Owl “Jaizz Era News”
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top