Joke of the day.

Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
The Teacher was telling her School Kids about the - “Birds and the Bees”,
And she was explaining, what happens when a Man and a Woman meet and fall in Love,
“Then Children. Nine Months later, the Stork usually brings them a Little Baby, from it’s very own, Soft, Feathery, Nest". . . ?!?
Little Johnny at the Back of the Class put his Hand Up and asks the Teacher,
"Hey Miss, are you sure about the Stork Bit, I think you're getting your Birds Mixed Up”..?!?!?
”Cos my Big Sister, just got a Little Baby”,
“And she said, she got it from a Shag in Scarborough”.
 
Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbour peered over the fence.
Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you doing there, Nancy?"

"My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully without looking up, "and I've just buried him."

The neighbor was very concerned. "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"

Nancy patted down the last heap of dirt then replied, "That's because he's inside your cat."
 
Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
After a long day at the office, Chris came home one day to find his dog with the neighbor's pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit was obviously dead. Chris panicked!
"If my neighbors find out my dog killed their bunny, they'll hate me forever," he thought.

So he took the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house, gave it a bath and blow-dried its fur. Chris knew his neighbors kept their backdoor open during the summer, so he snuck inside and put the bunny back into the cage, hoping his neighbors would think it died of natural causes.

A couple of days later Chris and his neighbor saw each other outside. "Did you hear that Fluffy died?" the neighbor asked.

"Oh. Uhmm... Sorry to hear that. What happened?" Chris mumbled.

The neighbor replied, "We just found him dead in his cage one day. But the strange thing is that the day after we buried him, we went out to dinner and someone must have dug him up, gave him a bath and put him back into the cage! There are some really sick people out there!"
 
Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
Paddy was pulled over by a Dublin Police Officer, earlier today.
The Cop asked, "Do you know why I've pulled you over, sir"..???
"No Officer", Paddy replied.
"Well", the Cop said,
"This doesn't happen very often, but I've been following you for the last Ten Miles or so"...
"And your Driving has been Exemplary..! Correct Road Positioning, Perfect Observation and due regard for other Road Users".
"Thanks very much, Officer"... Paddy said.
"So do you reckon Sur, It's worth me getting me a Driver's Licence then"
 
Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log. "My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf," says Little Red Riding Hood.

The surprised wolf jumps up and runs away.

Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again; this time he is crouched behind a tree stump.

"My, what big ears you have Mr. Wolf," says Little Red Riding Hood.

Again the foiled wolf jumps up and runs away.

About 2 miles down the road, Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again, this time crouched down behind a road sign.

"My, what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf," taunts Little Red Riding Hood.

With that the Big Bad Wolf jumps up and screams,

"Will you get lost? I'm trying to take a dump!"
 
Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their rabbit infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded the rabbits were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

At the Baptist church the rabbits had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water-slide on the baptistery and let the rabbits drown themselves. The rabbits liked the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim so twice as many rabbits showed up the following week.

The Lutheran church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures. So, they humanely trapped their rabbits and set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later the rabbits were back when the Baptists took down the water-slide.

But the Catholic church came up with a very creative strategy! They baptized all the rabbits and made them members of the church. Now they only see them at Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue; they took the first rabbit and circumcised him. They haven't seen a rabbit since.
 
Don the Don

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
Bruce is in the living room watching the footy and Sheila is in the kitchen. All of a sudden Bruce hears an almighty crash in the kitchen, and goes to investigate. He finds Sheila on the kitchen floor in the splits position.

“Strewth Sheila, what happened?” Sheila looks up at him and explains “I was reaching for something out of the top cupboard when I slipped off the stool and landed like this. Now I can’t get up because my lady parts have sort of caused a vaccuum on the tiled floor”.

Bruce thinks for a minute, then says “Well I dunno what to do, I’d best go get Wayne from next door to see if he has any ideas”. Bruce nips out the door and comes back a minute later with Wayne. Wayne says “G’day Sheila, what’s happened”. So Sheila explains the predicament she is in, and Wayne thinks for a minute and says “I reckon if we crack the tile Sheila is sitting on it was break the vaccuum and she can get up. I’ll just go get me hammer and chisel”.

Bruce says “Bonza idea, while you’re doing that I’ll have a play with Sheilas tits”. Wayne looks at Bruce and says “What do you want to do that for?” Bruce looks back at Wayne and explains “Well if I can get her excited we might be able to slide her into the hall, those tiles are cheaper to replace…”
 
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