What's Boiling Your Pi$$ Today?

GaleForceEight

Legendary Knight
I'm going to Sportsbikeshop in Birmingham later, want to try on a new jacket for our Norway trip. As it's pissing down and not showing signs of easing, I suggested to Rose that we go to a live gig at 15.00. Plotted my route and noticed that the second leg took us through the town centre. I remembered my son in law saying that he could drive his petrol 07 Picasso in the town centre, but only by a few months due to emissions. So I went on the website to see if my 59 plate Picasso 3 diesel was also free. Robbing cunts want £8 for a single pass of a 2 mile stretch of the A38. So a detour it is then. I'm going round the M42 in case of diversions in town.
I guess their greed is matched only by their delusions and stupidity. If people are taking longer journeys because the idiots are implementing ‘green’ taxes which ultimately cause more fuel burn how narcissistic must they be?
 

Flynnt20

Legendary Knight
FFS !!!!!!!! i have had the three injections and still wear a mask when i go to the shops as i look after 3 people with disabilities ( 2 have cancer ) and woke up this morning with the mother of all headaches and feeling like i have had a right kicking , yes you have guessed it , i have tested positive FFS !!!! Work have told me to stay home until next monday at the very earliest , going on our first holiday in 3 years in 2 weeks , give us a break
 

Foxy

Legendary Knight
Going back to t'NHS blunders, I dislocated my collarbone from my shoulder, whilst racing, well, crashing, at Croft. Medical staff told me to go to hospital. I went to Darlington hospital, where they x rayed it, gave me t'x-rays, and told me to go to mi local hospital. I went to Chesterfield Royal, where they decided to leave it to see how it healed on its own. After about a year, mi collar bone was still sticking up, and mi reyt shoulder was about 9" below mi left un. They decided to fit a "Lars ligament", which attaches to mi collar bone and inside mi shoulder blade, and lifts mi shoulder back into its normal position-ish. I was laid in bed ont mornin of mi operation, wi our Gert sat beside me. A nurse, and t'anaesthetist had been to have a chat wi me. Another nurse came about 30 mins later, and drew an arrow on mi thigh, pointing to mi knee. I was somewhat bemused, and our Gert asked nurse what she was doing. Her reply was "so the surgeon knows where to operate". I could hardly talk for laughing, so our Gert asked if it was a new technique, where they go in through mi knee to fix mi shoulder!! T'nurse scurried off, then came back and drew an arrow pointing to mi shoulder.
 

MartytheMartian

Legendary Knight
Christ @Foxy that's like the old comedy sketches where the guy has gone in to get his tonsils out and they've cut his bollocks off. Makes you wonder if any of them have a feckin' clue. I wouldn't let half of them operate on my bike let alone by bod.

Sorry to hear about yer bout of Covid @Flynnt20 me and the wife are down with something at the moment, although it's more like a nasty cold, scratchy throat, sore nose, feeling shit, but it's the first time we have both been down with a virus of any sort in over two years and the only close outside contact we've had recently is the stepkids coming out to visit for two days last week. My guess is that vaccines, masks and self-isolating have done absolutely bugger all to actually help and are merely sops to appease a small but very vocal section of the public who screamed for the government to save them.
 
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Sarky B’stard

Legendary Knight
FFS !!!!!!!! i have had the three injections and still wear a mask when i go to the shops as i look after 3 people with disabilities ( 2 have cancer ) and woke up this morning with the mother of all headaches and feeling like i have had a right kicking , yes you have guessed it , i have tested positive FFS !!!! Work have told me to stay home until next monday at the very earliest , going on our first holiday in 3 years in 2 weeks , give us a break
Go figure. It is ineffective as a vaccine and it is now admitted the spike protein to give your system a 'taste' of the virus doesn't stay in the injection site but spreads everywhere. The mask is pretty well useless against aerosol viral particles.

I am hugely sympathetic but it's time to get off this hamster wheel. Best wishes.
 

Flynnt20

Legendary Knight
Go figure. It is ineffective as a vaccine and it is now admitted the spike protein to give your system a 'taste' of the virus doesn't stay in the injection site but spreads everywhere. The mask is pretty well useless against aerosol viral particles.

I am hugely sympathetic but it's time to get off this hamster wheel. Best wishes.
Just trying everything possible for the 3 im supposed to be caring for hence the mask , only use them in supermarkets and the like , obviously didnt work !!
 

MartytheMartian

Legendary Knight
Well, I thought God was shining his light on me today as the Sun was out and, despite this virus I have I thought I'd phone the MOT place on the offchance that they could do the Daytona and yes, indeed, they could fit me in. Got me gear on and dragged the bike out of the shed, started her up, she's running! Great! Jump on, kick up the sidestand and stomp on first gear keerrrrrchuuunnnnkkkkk! Out of neutral and she starts again, into gear, keerrrttthhhhunnnkk! Bastard!!! Right I think, it's the sidestand switch and, as it's 'open circuit' when the stand is up and it's a right pain in the arse to get at it I'll just cut the cable to it. Cable duly snipped and time running out to get on the road down to the MOT station. Start her up, put her into gear and kerrrrthunnnkkk conked out again. What the actual bastarding, damned feck is up with this sodding bike!
 

Don the Don

Legendary Knight
Well, I thought God was shining his light on me today as the Sun was out and, despite this virus I have I thought I'd phone the MOT place on the offchance that they could do the Daytona and yes, indeed, they could fit me in. Got me gear on and dragged the bike out of the shed, started her up, she's running! Great! Jump on, kick up the sidestand and stomp on first gear keerrrrrchuuunnnnkkkkk! Out of neutral and she starts again, into gear, keerrrttthhhhunnnkk! Bastard!!! Right I think, it's the sidestand switch and, as it's 'open circuit' when the stand is up and it's a right pain in the arse to get at it I'll just cut the cable to it. Cable duly snipped and time running out to get on the road down to the MOT station. Start her up, put her into gear and kerrrrthunnnkkk conked out again. What the actual bastarding, damned feck is up with this sodding bike!
Does she have a clutch switch as well as sidestand? some bikes do. that bike is going to be your Nemesis It is going to drive you mad mate
 

Sarky B’stard

Legendary Knight
I think you may have a short to earth somewhere that periodically earths out the power. Something moved by clutch cable actuation, around the headstock, galvanic corrosion around the alloy/earth bolt. Resistance values?
 

MartytheMartian

Legendary Knight
Well after much cursing and swearing and even resorting to 'Duckstyle' tactics at one point I seem to have sorted that bastard, again, at least for the minute! Turned out the sidestand switch was fine although, as I had chopped the original off at the cable in an attempt to keep the appointment I then had to remove the entire sidestand mount in order to remove the remains and replace with a spare. Some smart fuckwit at Triumph rather cleverly put the coolant pump mounting in the perfect place where not only does it obstruct the bolts that hold the sidestand mounting on but, if you want to route a fresh sidestand switch, it has to be put in place before re-fitting the water pump housing. So, rather than fuck about and realising that the area of the housing that obscured the bolt was 'spare' aluminium I broke out a small grinding stone and ground enough away that I could then get an Allen bit in to remove the bolt. Well, anyway after fitting the new side stand switch I tried again and still no joy, as soon as the bike was put in gear it died. Much head scratching and study of the circuit diagrams trying to figure out what the hell else would cause this problem and so the only other 'simple' possibility is that something I had changed on the bike was at fault and so I wondered if the ECU I had fitted to try and solve the running problem had developed a mysterious problem of it's own since being removed from my old Sprint RS. 'Worth a try' says I and so I whip it off and plug the old one in and 'hey presto feckin' chango' the bastard now goes into gear without dying. Jeesssssuuuuussssss I am gonna murder this bastarding bike if it doesn't behave. Despite what it cost it will be going into the deepest darkest part of the loch that I can find on the charts!

I have now loaded an alternative map to the old ECU and dialled back the Idle fuel trim settings in the hope the bastard will behave itself at last but, if not I will have to rob the ECU off my running Sprint to see if that works until I can get another good replacement. I love my carb'ed Bonnie's but these EFi 'intelligent' one's are really starting to make me think very nasty things about whoever Triumph got to design them!
 

DD67

The Peace Keeper
Staff member
Well after much cursing and swearing and even resorting to 'Duckstyle' tactics at one point I seem to have sorted that bastard, again, at least for the minute! Turned out the sidestand switch was fine although, as I had chopped the original off at the cable in an attempt to keep the appointment I then had to remove the entire sidestand mount in order to remove the remains and replace with a spare. Some smart fuckwit at Triumph rather cleverly put the coolant pump mounting in the perfect place where not only does it obstruct the bolts that hold the sidestand mounting on but, if you want to route a fresh sidestand switch, it has to be put in place before re-fitting the water pump housing. So, rather than fuck about and realising that the area of the housing that obscured the bolt was 'spare' aluminium I broke out a small grinding stone and ground enough away that I could then get an Allen bit in to remove the bolt. Well, anyway after fitting the new side stand switch I tried again and still no joy, as soon as the bike was put in gear it died. Much head scratching and study of the circuit diagrams trying to figure out what the hell else would cause this problem and so the only other 'simple' possibility is that something I had changed on the bike was at fault and so I wondered if the ECU I had fitted to try and solve the running problem had developed a mysterious problem of it's own since being removed from my old Sprint RS. 'Worth a try' says I and so I whip it off and plug the old one in and 'hey presto feckin' chango' the bastard now goes into gear without dying. Jeesssssuuuuussssss I am gonna murder this bastarding bike if it doesn't behave. Despite what it cost it will be going into the deepest darkest part of the loch that I can find on the charts!

I have now loaded an alternative map to the old ECU and dialled back the Idle fuel trim settings in the hope the bastard will behave itself at last but, if not I will have to rob the ECU off my running Sprint to see if that works until I can get another good replacement. I love my carb'ed Bonnie's but these EFi 'intelligent' one's are really starting to make me think very nasty things about whoever Triumph got to design them!
10/10 for patience & tenacity Marty me old mate 😃
I reckon I'd have been tempted to push it too a rough part of town & leave it there for a few days with a £1.99 lock fitted 😗
 

MartytheMartian

Legendary Knight
The annoying thing is all the feckin' electrickery and, of course, Triumph didn't make that shit. The ECU is from Sagem. I do have to say that I am not too impressed with the fact that it seems that part of the design brief at Triumph was to try and make repair etc. as awkward as possible. Connector locations, cable routings etc. are all clearly designed to mean no easy in and out fixes when things go wrong. Even changing a Sidestand sensor requires the tank off just to get at the connectors and plumbing and unplumbing the tank is a tricky task where there's always a risk of the tank going over and wrecking it's paintwork and electrical connectors unless you have an assistant on hand to hold it up out of the frame while you disconnect it and of course as I mentioned previously, unless you do some 'surgery' you have to take the water pump off to get at the bolts holding the sidestand mounting on. On the Daytona the ECU is also under the tank and the connectors are awkward to get at where it's mounted under the seat on the Sprints. Visually the bike is a real looker and the 995i engine is quite a unit but by Christ it has a host of other issues that Triumph's designers and materials guys should be ashamed of and ruin what could have been an incredible, all time classic, motorcycle.
 

MartytheMartian

Legendary Knight
I meant to say too that Triumph Sports machines of the early 2000's must have a reputation in the trade for running problems. I came across a fellow looking for help down in Ayrshire who had bought a 2006 or thereabouts 1050 Sprint. Left it running to warm up while he nipped inside to grab his helmet and, by the time he got back outside the bike had conked out and refused to re-start. He said that some mechanic came out to look at it, took off the tank looked around the back of the engine for a minute then told the guy 'If I try to check for a spark it will trigger engine warnings that I can't reset mate so I can't help you' jumped in his car and fled the scene. If the guy really was a pro bike mechanic that tells me that he simply didn't want the hassle of trying to figure out what had screwed up. I've also seen a couple of dealers flogging Triumph 955i's over the last few months with ads along the lines of 'Spares or repairs/project, was running when we took it in P/X but won't run now and we don't have the time/aren't interested in trying to figure it out'. Seems like, when they don't wanna run they can be buggers to make run.
 

Sarky B’stard

Legendary Knight
I think Triumph have been on a bit of a journey themselves with their electronic controls with the Gill igniters (Lymington) and SAGEM (French defunct!) units getting replaced in newer models by Keihin etc. Mechanically the bikes are pretty well up with the best. My 2018 Tiger Sport (touches wooden head!) has been faultless.
 

MartytheMartian

Legendary Knight
If I knew more about the black art of EFi I would be tempted to eradicate the Froggy Sagem ECU's and Stepper motors and re-plumb both my 955i's with something better. I suspect that the system from any later Triumph Triple would do the job if I only knew how to integrate it with the lump.
 

BAD LUCK DUCK

Forum Duck
I meant to say too that Triumph Sports machines of the early 2000's must have a reputation in the trade for running problems. I came across a fellow looking for help down in Ayrshire who had bought a 2006 or thereabouts 1050 Sprint. Left it running to warm up while he nipped inside to grab his helmet and, by the time he got back outside the bike had conked out and refused to re-start. He said that some mechanic came out to look at it, took off the tank looked around the back of the engine for a minute then told the guy 'If I try to check for a spark it will trigger engine warnings that I can't reset mate so I can't help you' jumped in his car and fled the scene. If the guy really was a pro bike mechanic that tells me that he simply didn't want the hassle of trying to figure out what had screwed up. I've also seen a couple of dealers flogging Triumph 955i's over the last few months with ads along the lines of 'Spares or repairs/project, was running when we took it in P/X but won't run now and we don't have the time/aren't interested in trying to figure it out'. Seems like, when they don't wanna run they can be buggers to make run.
I couldn't find a mechanic that would touch my sprint..
They all thought they were more trouble than they are worth 🦆
 

MartytheMartian

Legendary Knight
It seems that the Sprints are very finely balanced on the edge of running well/not running at all and the Daytona's are even more fussy plus, if you don't know how to screw about with the 'brain' then you have serious problems. Maybe I'll become the zen master of Triumph 955i's and folks will flock to me for guidance and fixes 😁 Whatever their faults I have to admit that I love the looks of the Daytona's and the Sprints, particularly the RS which, for some reason, especially in Acidic Yellow looks like some sort of crouching was or hornet but with a cheerful look on it's fizzog.

@chas do you know if it's possible to get black and yellow striped vinyl wrap? I reckon the Sprint would look really rather cool in a 'wasp' guise. Would be a hoot too!
 
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